173 dtg (intense life)

第两部分：激烈的生活
Part 2: Intense Life

你怎么会跟一位中国人交朋友？按照很多中国人的习惯，你和其他人的关系非有互相利益不可。 我在青岛认识很多人，但我很难区别谁是我认真的朋友，谁是“从我收到利益的人”。

How do you make friends with a Chinese person? According to the habits of lots of Chinese people, your relationships with other people must have some sort of mutual benefit. In Qingdao, I have met lots of people, but how do I distinguish between those who are real friends, and those who are "from me receive benefit" people?

关 于我在中国的生活，这件事是我最难习惯于的方面。 我刚刚来这儿的时候，我跟一个大学生在一起吃了晚饭。那时候，我们说英语。他告诉我，她需要经常练习她的英语，但大部分他认识的外国人不要跟他在一起花了 很 多时间说英语。我对他建议了可能那是因为他们来中国特别为了学汉语，但谁肯定知道？我付钱为晚饭以后，他说：“谢谢你跟我在一起吃了饭，虽然我恐怕你受到 了没有利益”。 肯定她是个老实人！这只是一个例子，但我想对你们表示，在中国这件事情很重要，而且弄我在熟悉人的时候想一想，“为什么他们想跟我在一起花时间？” 如果想不起来好的原因，跟他们一起花时间不太舒服。 相反的， 我不应该只用别人为了练习我的普通话，既然他们也需要送了利益。 怎么办呢？最简单的方法是这样：在认识别人，总是说汉语，但请他们跟我在一起吃饭 （按照中国习惯，意思是我付钱）。 你肯定听过：入乡随俗。

With regards to life in China, this has been the most difficult thing to get used to. A short time after I arrived here, I went out to dinner with a local university student. At the time , we were speaking English. She told me that she needed to practice her English often, but most of the foreigners she knew didn't want to spend lots of time talking to her in English. I suggested that it might be because they had come to China to learn Chinese, but then again who could really know? After I paid for dinner, she said: "Thank you for having dinner with me, although I am sorry that you received no benefit." She certainly was an honest person! This is just one example, but I just want to demonstrate that in China this is a really important thing. It also means that as I get to know people I think, "why does this person want to spend time with me?". If I can't easily think of a benefit for them, spending time with them can be uncomfortable. Conversely, I shouldn't just use the people I meet to practice my Chinese on, since they also need to receive some sort of benefit. What to do then？The simplest solution is this: Upon meeting a Chinese person, always speak Chinese, but invite them to eat a meal with me. (According to habit in China, if you invite someone to eat dinner with you, then you pay the bill). You know what they say: When in Rome, do like the Romans.

吃饭以后，怎么区别谁是朋友呢？在中国有一个俗话：“路遥知马力，日久见人心“。 意思是，得经过很长时间了解，考验才能知道是认真的朋友或者是“从你受到利益的人”。 多亏，　吃饭在一家中国的饭管挺便宜！

And after dinner, how to tell who is a friend? In China they have a saying: A long road knows the horse's power, a long time knows the person's heart. The meaning is, you have to spend a long time with someone to work out whether or not they are a true friend. Luckily, eating at a restaurant in China is quite cheap!

男 女朋友的关系呢？ 对我的经验来说，根本一样。 我来青岛的时候决定了，如果我和一位中国女还有交往，互相教语言不应该和女朋友的关系的基础。 互相学习语言肯定是个流益,但不如合适的性格。只有一个问题，我是个西方人，所以别人常常告诉我，“啊，你想找到一个女朋友没问题，我认识很多女孩儿想学 英语，给你介绍吧？“可见，我还是一个人吃包了，就一家 人不饿。但别担心，这件事情不是都差，就是说，我只需要小心，慢慢交朋友。四个月份以后，我肯定能说：波波 ， 李鹏和媛媛， 谢谢你们的认真的友谊。

Boyfriend / girlfriend relationships then? From my experience, basically the same. When I came to Qingdao I felt that mutual language study shouldn't be the basis of a boy / girl friend relationship. Mutual language study is definitely a benefit, but not as important as mutually suitable characters. There is just one problem: I am a westerner, so other people often tell me: "Ah ... you would like to find a girlfriend, no problem. I know a girl who wants to study English, let me give you an introduction!" Obviously, I am still single. But don't worry, this thing isn't all bad, by which I mean, I just have to be careful, and slowly make friends. After four months, I can say for sure: Bo-bo, Li-peng, Shonny and Yuan-yuan, thankyou for your sincere friendship.